YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
