You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
