(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
