tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
