Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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