the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
