Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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