he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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