Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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