I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
