i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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