Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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