my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
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I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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