so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
