she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
