This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I deserve this hangover.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
