We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
