Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
