There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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