So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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