I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
