i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
