Can i not drive my cunt home
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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