The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
