i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Even my vagina gasped.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
