I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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