There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
