There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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