Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
