I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
