maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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