I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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