Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
