Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize