It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
