Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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