it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
