i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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