What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
