Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
