The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
