I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
