I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
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Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
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There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say