So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
