Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?

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(309): is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring? http://tfl.nu/8ib1

Replies (42) Good night (1533) Bad night (4254)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.

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(417): Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass. http://tfl.nu/mz6y

Replies (8) Good night (1069) Bad night (2339)
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(706): View more from Georgia

lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.

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(706): lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand. http://tfl.nu/av0q

Replies (58) Good night (6460) Bad night (950)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt

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(708): I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt http://tfl.nu/chxg

Replies (33) Good night (1342) Bad night (3453)
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(631): View more from New York

My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud

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(631): My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud http://tfl.nu/p0vi

Replies (44) Good night (1712) Bad night (19004)
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(425): View more from Washington

oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog

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(425): oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog http://tfl.nu/rz7h

Replies (30) Good night (6459) Bad night (1561)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it

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(908): idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it http://tfl.nu/l3eq

Replies (4) Good night (2175) Bad night (1076)
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(360): View more from Washington

I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.

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(360): I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back. http://tfl.nu/kpg0

Replies (21) Good night (11686) Bad night (1144)
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(317): View more from Indiana

She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean

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(317): She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean http://tfl.nu/wqi7

Replies (11) Good night (926) Bad night (4409)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.

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(414): Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night. http://tfl.nu/g1a2

Replies (5) Good night (1215) Bad night (1239)
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(813): View more from Florida

You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.

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(813): You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids. http://tfl.nu/99eg

Replies (6) Good night (1353) Bad night (2946)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim

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(702): Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim http://tfl.nu/n7dg

Replies (11) Good night (3504) Bad night (932)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.

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(267): They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment. http://tfl.nu/jokz

Replies (3) Good night (2202) Bad night (610)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...

(862): View more from New Jersey

This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.

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(973): How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow... (862): This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am. http://tfl.nu/nxs7

Replies (0) Good night (1347) Bad night (532)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later

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(414): Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later http://tfl.nu/j0j8

Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (563)

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