Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.