The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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