Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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