I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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