So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
