No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
