dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
