I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Boobs are out for the taking
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.