I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
