I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
