this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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