i think my mom watched the whole time
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
