The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
