How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
