I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
