you traded sex for a burrito?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
