I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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