Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
