i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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