Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
