Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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