We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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