she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
