it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
