STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
